InMyOwnSkin.com

A Letter To Myself

I began reading a new book this week.  This book found me as I perused the shelves of Barnes and Noble last week.  ”Happy For No Reason” written by Marci Shimoff,  stood out among all the other titles.  Marci, a teacher featured in The Secret, also wrote “Chicken Soup for the Woman’s Soul.”

Inspired by this book, the media’s portrayal of women, and a recent comment from a good friend, I decided to write a letter to my 16 year old self.  These lessons come from wisdom, age, and confidence.  I hope some of my struggles will ring true for many of you as well.

Dear Teenage Self,

Please please please, love yourself first and most.  Take good care of your heart, spirit, and soul.  Nothing you see in the fashion magazines, MTV, or on the red carpet is real.  Those women are airbrushed, spend hours with hair and makeup artists, and receive minute to minute touch ups.  A serious relationship is NOT a necessity for a high school student.  You are not ready to get married, have a baby, and grow old together.  Cherish these moments for they are fleeting.  Focus on school, good grades, college, seeing the world, experiencing different perspectives, and learn all you can about who you are, and what you want from life.

Again, love yourself first and most.  Reserve judgment of others until you walk a mile in their shoes.  People make mistakes, if you choose to forgive them, you take back control and power.  If you choose to wallow in anger or hurt, you only hurt yourself.  Love your body, even the parts you dislike.  Every woman dislikes pieces of her body, embrace those pieces and celebrate them.  You cannot live on fast food or junk food while expecting to look like a model.  (see above, models are an illusion)   Treat your body with respect.  Embrace exercise. 

In any relationship, remember, ask for what you want with kindness and love.  Does what you have to say come from a place of love or truth?  If not, consider keeping it to yourself.  Choose friends who uplift you, support you, and love you unconditionally.  Cherish and respect those girls.  Never allow a boy (man) to break apart a sisterhood. 

Love your family.  Every family comes with problems or issues.  Love them despite that.  Forgive your parents.  Remember they are people too, and come from unique life circumstances.  Trust that they are doing their very best.  Be respectful.  Share traditions and special times with them, even when you feel like escaping to your room, your friend’s house, or anywhere else.  In a few years, you will miss spending that time together.  Make yourself proud, by doing so, it will make your family proud too.  Give your all in everything, school, work, or relationships.  Be grateful for the life you live, the house, clothes, and all the rest.  Share your gratitude with a simple thank you. 

 Live in the moment, each and every day.  Choose a path that makes you feel passionate.  Optimism will carry you to the stars.  Choose your attitude each day.  IF you choose to be in a relationship, give each other appreciation and space to grow.  Give helpful suggestions, not orders.  No man will ever read your mind.  Your own inner beauty, light, and confidence will attract any man you choose.  Desperation is never attractive.  The idea of a prince charming who will sweep you off your feet is a complete fairy tale.  Make yourself  happy, interesting, confident.  Have more fun!  You must sweep yourself off your own feet.  Be a complete person, on your own.  Then, if you choose, find a partner who complements you. 

Remember, I love you.  Your mom and dad love you.  You will make it through all the tough times to emerge a gorgeous, striking, fierce, and powerful woman.  Even if your dreams evolved, know that you love your life and the special people in it.

Always and Forever,

gina b